miércoles, 27 de noviembre de 2019

Feedback

From: Luz Ariza.
To: Omar Parra.

Very good contribution, I think you used adequate elements of the story, because your story is entertaining, contains actions such as traveling from one extreme place to another, also a beautiful language and different feelings that make the story striking. thanks.

From: Omar Parra.
To:  Julian Barbosa.

Greetings, Julian.
I am glad to say hello and I hope you are fine. The size of your story does not meet the criteria for the current activity. According to the activity guide and evaluation rubric: "Size: Write a minimum of 500 words up to 1000 words." Please, make the necessary corrections and I will add your story to the blog.

From: Luz Ariza.
To: Julian Barbosa.

Hello mate Julian:
I think your story is very interesting, you developed the characters well, you used creativity and imagination to make your story attractive to readers. thanks.

From: Omar Parra
To:  Yohana Ardila.

Greetings, Yohana. I am glad to say hello and I hope you are fine. The size of your story does not meet the criteria for the current activity. According to the activity guide and evaluation rubric: "Size: Write a minimum of 500 words up to 1000 words." Please, make the necessary corrections and I will add your story to the blog.

The story of superheroes Jonás and Estrella

In the municipality of El Guacamayo Santander, within its beautiful green mountains lived a humble family made up of two little brothers, dad and mom. Jonah and star were the name of the two little twins who would turn 7 a month, their parents Doña Luisa and Don Ignacio had them at 45. It was a family of very few resources, they lived very far from the town.
The little children loved each other very much, once they finished helping their parents with the housework, they went out to play and their favorite place was the old barn that was about 15 minutes from their house; the old barn was in poor condition, however, the interior was not as bad as it seemed since Jonas and Star had given life to this place, they had a large collection of drawings of superheroes.
The two brothers were lovers of superheroes comics since once their father found a magazine in one of the streets of the town and took her home thinking that with her his children would have something to read or something different from the tasks of the home to be distracted.
One day in the morning Star woke up sick so she had no mood to get out of bed, Jonas wanted to do something for her to cheer up a little, so that she told the Star that if she could make an effort to go to the barn to draw maybe that could cheer her up a bit, when they arrived at the Star barn, so she took some paintings, a brush and left for a part of the barn that was quite damaged. They never went to that part of the barn because of its deterioration, only took two steps in that place to break the boards, when Jonas saw that her sister collapsed, she ran towards her to help her, but it was worse, both of them fell into a great abyss where they only felt that they were descending that way it was like for more than hours, then they hit an entirely full field of flowers; At this moment she tells Jonas that he has passed my brother . Where are we? I had never seen this place in my life; The biggest surprise was when Jonas told his sister to look at his clothes and his, they both wore superheroes costumes, the little brothers were so surprised that they passed out and reacted 15 minutes later. In this way, both brothers continued walking through the immense valley until they collided with an immense porcelain vessel, when they arrived there, they realized that a strange being lived and, with a rare appearance, it was an alien. Jonas and Star seeing this fled and left screaming; However, it seemed that this strange being knew who Jonas and Estrella were. And it is that Guillen, as this alien was called, had taken them to that beautiful place with the naked eye but mysterious. Guillen only took a few seconds to open his beautiful wings and leave to catch Star and Jonas. When reached Jonas and star they fainted again, so was easier for Guillen grabbed the two little ones and take them home. There he put them in a separate cabin, quickly activating sensors from his hand to send some kind of information to the subconscious of Jonah and Star. Guillen did this to explain to the two little ones everything that happened, that he was, because he had chosen them, what mission they had; if at this time any doubt that could have been passed through the minds of these children would be resolved at this time. Once this was over, Guillen turned off the information transmitter and took out the two little ones there. Jonas and Star once woke up bowed to the great teacher Guillen and said in a stronger and more secure voice : we know that we are in Andromeda one of the galaxies of the milky way and that you great teacher has chosen us for our hearts so noble and full of love to save this galaxy from envy, ambition and power that has corrupted the hearts of the majority of the inhabitants of this place, we also know the powers that these suits give us and what is the step to follow. Guillen had really taken care of transmitting the necessary information to Jonas and Star, disappearing their fears, causing them to forget memories and feelings that would make them return home soon, maturing their hearts so that they could fight bravely and gallantly. 
They day after day continued fighting bravely, with love destroying with their powerful arrows all bonds of hatred, envy, greed and power that the evil queen Kira had spilled on Andromeda and although they were huge army that Kira had created to prevent Jonas and Star win the battle, could more noble hearts of these children to defeat to the evil Kira, a century passed in Andromeda so that the two superheroes could totally overcome evil, which ended with the death of Kira.

Once they finished the mission, Jonas and Star returned with the teacher Guillen, who felt very grateful for the work of these brave children and rewarded them with a small bag, also asked them to enter the transmitter of information because he had to return all the memories of life they had on planet Earth, this process did not take long, when they woke up they felt very sad for not knowing what it would be of life from his parents. However, Master Guillen calmed them by telling them that not everything was as it seemed and that they would realize this when they returned to earth, he handed them a diamond, telling my little children their mission in this galaxy is over now they must return home, they should never tell anyone what they lived here, this diamond will take them back home and in the same way if one day they want to return just rub it 3 times, he gave them a big hug and in an open and closing the eyes the two little brothers were again in the barn of their house. 
When the children saw that they were at home they ran out looking for their parents thinking about what would be theirs, how many years if they saw them; However, when Mrs. Luisa and Don Ignacio met, they realized that they had only spent a couple of hours on earth , the children hugged their parents very tightly and Star noticed that in her hand she carried the bag that Guillen had given her Delivered in Andromeda, she opened it and what a great surprise, this bag had some diamonds; they moved to a farm that they bought closer to the town, Jonas and Estrella started attending school, this fact only made the family more united and loved each other forever.

Yohana Katerine Ardila

sábado, 23 de noviembre de 2019

The magical dream of Liliana




Liliana was a girl who always wondered what it would feel like to be inside a fairy tale. Will the evil witch bewitch me or will the wolf eat me? Suddenly the Beast locks me in his castle, maybe the 7 dwarfs invite me to his little house. And that's how little Liliana was thinking all the time.

She always kept that desire in her heart until one night she was dreaming when she suddenly felt the call of a girl with a little red riding hood who invited her to enter her world and know where she lived, Liliana surprised and at the same time intrigued agreed to go with her and then together they took a carriage that took them to that beautiful place.
With great surprise Liliana watched everything, since in this place there was a lot of magic, there were also different characters from other stories such as Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel and Bella. The beautiful landscapes that were there were almost perfect and the most incredible thing was that the characters in the stories were no longer bad, ambitious or traitorous characters, on the contrary everyone lived in harmony and in a perfect balance.

In this picturesque place, time seemed to stop and she happily contemplated the sky and those magical creatures that made everything look perfect, she enjoyed running, jumping and talking to those characters she admired so much.

The next day Liliana told her mother everything who, very surprised, exclaimed - You have really had a very deep sleep and your imagination is increasingly surprising. Although Liliana had satisfied her curiosity, she wanted to return and so she kept coming back for several nights to this fantastic place.

When suddenly something unusual happened one night, Liliana waited and waited for Little Red Riding Hood to arrive but it did not appear, which seemed very strange; Some time later she arrived and told him what was happening, apparently Liliana's travels were disrupting the magical balance of this place and the characters in the stories were gradually weakening; Liliana was very worried and wanted to go one last time to make sure all the characters in the fairy tales were fine.

When she arrived the characters were weak and looked unpleasant as their beauty and magic were disappearing. Liliana was very sad and made the decision to return home so that finally all the characters could recover their vigor.

Suddenly Liliana while still there felt a strong pressure in her heart, Little Red Riding Hood ran quickly to see what was happening and understood that it was time for Liliana to return home, but not everything was so easy since a barrier that separated the Two worlds, Liliana and Little Red Riding Hood, were very scared, so they ran to Maleficent, a witch who was once evil, but who has now turned to good feelings and told her what happened. Maleficent immediately used a trick she knew, which opened a deep hole where Liliana could leave. Finally, she returned home and the next morning decided to translate her experiences into a book so that she would never be forgotten.

Luz Astrid Ariza

Matrix an asteroid traveling Jupiter




One day the wise, Tomi Rayder, reflected on things wise ... He also had much more to do, since he was the only inhabitant of the asteroid towards Jupiter.
"How can I make children here?"
Tomi wondered quietly, every time he looked out the window and saw his lonely planet ... Then he was imagining what it would be like to hear the sound of laughter and games of children of all ages, running and having fun in the asteroid gardens in He who lived.
In order for the asteroid matrix to be a place that caught children's attention, Tomi had to know what they liked best. The wise man installed in his laboratory a "control screen" that analyzed the dreams of the children of the Earth. And those dreams were clear: television, ice cream, pizzas, video games, no punishment, no homework, just play and have fun.

He was determined to eliminate punishments, annoying duties, cabbages, spinach and lettuce, and also the phrases "Because I tell you so" and "You are punished."
In order for Tomi to have the laughter and childish jokes hanging around his asteroid, he had to convince the children that it was a much more fun place than Jupiter, but also, he had to take care that there were fathers and mothers to take care of those children.

After many years of hard work, Tomi Rayder finally left his laboratory with a smile on his face. He had created a new breed of electronic mothers and fathers. This would attract all the children of Jupiter to their planet and the robots would take care of them.
Robot mothers were very similar to human ones, but much less serious and strict. They didn't scold you, they didn't throw you in the ears, they didn't have to force you to do your homework, they didn't scream, they didn't punish you, they didn't deprive you of dessert. They always smiled, gave electronic kisses and repeated in a synthetic voice:

- Very good! - How good! - Fantastic! ... The wise Tomi rubbed his hands happily when he saw his mothers and fathers robots and thought about how the children would like them.
One day, Enricus Hartus, a seven-year-old boy, very disobedient, was upset, by his parents, for homework and for brushing his teeth ... Then, when he saw the announcement, he did not hesitate and dialed the secret code and immediately the wise Tomi appeared in his room
.

- Come with me to the asteroid! - Tomy said. - There is no fish or beans, you don't have to go to bed at eight, you can eat chips all day. You will not regret!
Enricus-Brutus was convinced to hear those words. After thirty seconds of travel (average time of an interplanetary trip in 2175), robotic parents expected to receive them with a smile.

- << Hello, welcome, do you want a snack? >>

They had prepared the best snack I had seen: chocolate filled cookies, chocolate cake and a good hot milk. Enricus was very happy. Even more so when his new mother turned on three televisions at the same time, two video game consoles and a large computer tower. Finally, his father gave him a huge bottle of soda.

Enricus threw himself on the couch with his dirty slippers, ungrateful, and let out a thunderous belching. Meanwhile, the parents had gone to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

Life in asteroid Matrix for Enricus was full of pleasant surprises every day. Of course, he continued to attend the asteroid school, but there you just had to play, jump, laugh and eat candy. Enricus was in no hurry to return to Jupiter.

Every day, when he returned from school, the mother robot kissed him, always the same kisses (one on the forehead, two on the cheeks), turned on the three televisions, the two game consoles, the computer and went directly to the kitchen to prepare the chocolate mousse and the pizzas while the father opened a bottle of bubbly soda and dressed the sandwiches with sweets. As much as Enricus misbehaved, was rude or put dirty feet on the couch, there was not the slightest reproach from his cyber parents.

Enricus decided to stop going to school. One day he entered the house escorted by a police robot (he had stolen thirty-three records from a store and forty kilos of candy). Enricus thought his parents were going to punish him. But none of that happened, quite the opposite.

<< Hello, welcome, do you want to snack? >>

No, I have the time measured.

Tomi opened his family-sized spaceship and was collecting one by one all the children who inhabited the asteroid.

The planet ended up exploding: a great flare! Just a few minutes after Tomi's ship with all the children inside set course for Jupiter.

When they stepped on the earth floor, the children jumped into the arms of their true mothers and fathers, savoring the caresses that were nothing like the cold robotic hands, their kisses, which were not necessarily one on the forehead and two on the cheeks, but also in the hair or nose. Then it was heard:

All the children of the asteroid matrix asked for sincere rules and congratulations, some sweet but not too many. It was no longer possible to spend the days eating chocolate and pizzas, playing computer games without doing anything else. Because chocolate tastes even better if it is eaten after soup and fish. This is how the moms and robot moms disappeared forever and the real moms and dads took care of their children again

What happened to Tomi Rayder? Well, he also came to Jupiter ... and decided not to try again to replace parents with silly robots.

Julian Fernando Barbosa